Handsome Cal (from Zones)

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Handsome Cal (92)

Project: Short story (Zones)

Known as: Handsome Cal (by himself)

Real name: Calvin Swchitz

Group affiliation: Larsen Solutions

Physical description: Handsome Cal is bald on top with long, stringy, dingy hair where it still grows. His teeth have brown stains and his brown eyes are watery with constant bags beneath them. He has a large mole (with hair) on the right side of his chin and a wart on his left upper cheek. He’s notably overweight and tends to where the same clothes for a week or more (usually with food stains – he’s a messy eater). “Handsome” is a self-applied nickname.

Personality: Handsome Cal is loud and overbearing. He loves zingers (aimed at other people, anyway) and utters them frequently. He assumes that they are always funny, especially since one of his zingers is always followed by several barks of laughter from himself. He is generous with eye rolls when others are speaking (he much prefers it when he is speaking). He hates his job, but it is basically the only one he can hold down and it pays extremely well for the effort. He cares naught for the feelings of others, has been known to pull the wings off of flies, and has no redeeming quality that has ever been observed by another person.

History: Handsome Cal grew up in a regulated zone, which would only be the beginning of his complaints about the hand he was dealt were you to ask him. His parents were poor idiots and the school system was too flawed to recognize his genius. Everyone he has met has not been as intelligent and creative as him and, as a result, they all have worked to ensure he is treated unfairly. They are so bitter about the gifts he has been given that they want to try to keep him down (his ultimate success is inevitable, of course). Sure, there has been the occasional tolerable sort who recognized his extraordinariness, but most are so absorbed with their own jealousy they can’t be around him for long.

His current job with Larsen Solutions as an interviewer is at least the first step to his eventual success. Larsen’s standards for certain key positions (troubleshooters) are so high that they have instructed him that he is only to pass along people who impress him (none have so far). He is allowed (even encouraged) to treat the interviewees however he wants and ask whatever he wants. They clearly value him as they have created a room for him with reinforced walls, indestructible glass, electronic locks and other safeguards from which he can conduct his interviews without fear of physical reprisal from the interviewee. He feels it is obvious they are grooming him to eventually run Larsen Solutions.

Grace Shin, coming in for an interview, draws a different conclusion. Within a few minutes of being told she had to call him “Handsome,” a series of inappropriate questions, rude interruptions, and general “Calness,” Grace suspects he is more challenge than interview. Once she establishes Cal is not a blood relative of anyone important at Larsen, she begins to investigate the room and pull up blueprints. She explains to Cal that she believes her challenge is to kill him in his secure room (he scoffs). He becomes more nervous as she starts thinking aloud (maybe poison him through the air vents? Set the building on fire?). She begins working on the electronic lock on his door and he tells her any tampering will set off a complete lockdown for 12 hours that even he can’t override.

Ultimately, she sets up an electronic device that will enter the wrong code (1111111) every hour or so to make sure the tamper lockdown is sustained indefinitely. She then tells him to enjoy dying slowly and she is summoned via intercom to another room to work through the details of her contract (she passed the test – ensuring Cal’s death). Cal screams as she departs.

It is left ambiguous if his employers would save Cal from his fate.

Role in the narrative: Antagonist.

Abilities: He’s obnoxious and annoying.

Inspirations: Not sure where the concept of someone being obnoxious enough that someone in a dystopian future would decide killing him was an employment test. I didn’t have anyone specifically in mind in terms of his character description, but let’s marry the charm of Newman from Seinfeld with the goodness of Joffrey from Game of Thrones.